Your problems are none of your business

This quote and the content around it is why I've made this blog, and I first read this advice in a text book of all places.  The purpose of this quote for me is a reminder that I can't solve my own problems because I'm living them.  =The author points out that focusing on problems tends to lead to them overwhelming us, and sometimes the only way to solve your problems is to help someone else.  This is why I am writing this blog, by imparting some of the good things I've learned, and helping other people, maybe I can solve a few of my own crazy insecurities, and become a better person.

It's strange to think that focusing on anything but our problems can help solve them, but how many times have you been trying to remember where you put something and trying to focus on what you could have done with it, and the answer just doesn't come.  So, you give up and go watch tv read a book, and then it dawns on you. 

One example from my own life is I lost a form that I had to mail that day, and if I didn't mail it I would miss an admissions deadline to the Naval Academy. I was panicking and rushing around the house trying to remember where I was, and the answer just wasn't coming to me, my sister came in the room and asked me for help on her homework, and at first I snapped at her, couldn't she understand my entire life would be over if I didn't get this form mailed? She gave me the sad little sister look, and I gave up my search and helped her.  As I'm helping her I feel hungry and and walk to the fridge, hanging on the door was the form I needed with a note from myself to mail it first thing in the morning.

While this was a fairly benign example, it illustrates how focused we can get on our problem, and lose the solution amongst our anxiety.  I was focused on retracing my steps, but because I also had the worry attached to not solving the problem I couldn't think straight.

What does this mean for you? The next time you are confronted with some worry, or some problem that just seems it doesn't have a solution remember it isn't your business to focus on the solution, and you need to get outside your head.  Find something else to do, or better yet someone else to help, listen to their problems, give your insights and if they are willing discuss your problem.  The truth is if we could solve all of our own problems, they would all be solved, but we get pulled down by our own anxieties and insecurities to the point our attempt at problem solving is only creating more problems we need to solve. 

Helping others is helping ourselves.